you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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