take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
