Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
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These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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