i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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