ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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