1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the day after is always just damage control
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
