I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
