So drunk its hurt
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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