White coat. Heels.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
