Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
