so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
