That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize