carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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