It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
