It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
