But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
