1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
