Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
