Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
