I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I will pee on everything he values.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
