grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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