There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
