It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i think my cat just said my name.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
