he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
