I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
