I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize