He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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