lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
