well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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