i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I believe in your delicious
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
