Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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