Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
