Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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