She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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