who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
