i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
