He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
