i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
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Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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