Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
