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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
