The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
