Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
