Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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