I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
where are my pants?
in the oven.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
