I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
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i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
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Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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