May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
