I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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