You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
it's like heaven, but drunker
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
