She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
