I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
