yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
