she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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