I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
