so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
