Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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