Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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