the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Text me some of your sweat
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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