so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
