If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
