i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
