yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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