and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
