So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
