u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
