I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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