He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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