And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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