Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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