just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
3 2 1 whiskey
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
