two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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