I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
