The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
