Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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